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Quotes about Age

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Aaron Burr
(1756 - 1836)
Never do today what you can do tomorrow. Something may occur to make you regret your premature action.
- (Killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel in 1804.)
Alan Patrick HerbertThe conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
Allan James Morton
(1962 - )
Marriage, Mortgage and Children....Lifes Full Catastrophe!
Ambrose BierceLove, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Anatole France
(1844 - 1924)
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
AnonymousYou are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
AnonymousThere's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
AnonymousLosing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
AnonymousRepel them, repel them, make them relinquish the ball.
- (Yale college cheer)
AnonymousUse it up, wear it out; Make it do, or do without.
- (New England maxim)
Barry SwitzerSome people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 - 1790)
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 - 1790)
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Beryl PfizerI wonder what language truck drivers are using, now that everyone is using theirs?
Bette DavisOld age ain't no place for sissies.
Bill CosbyWives don't want to hear what husbands think. Wives want to hear what they themselves think, but in a deeper voice.
Cary Grant
(1904 - 1986)
When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are.
- (actor)
Chantal SapersteinAll marriages are mixed marriages.
Charles M. Schulz
(1922 - 2000)
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Christopher MorleyThe trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.
Clint EastwoodThere's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Conan O'BrienGeneral Motors announced that they are ending their endorsement deal with Tiger Woods. When asked why, a spokesperson for General Motors said, "Tiger Woods is successful, competitive, and popular. And that's just not us."
Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
If you show up on time for a time management course, do you even need to be there?
- (a.k.a. John Alejandro King, CIA Poet and Covert Activist)
Covert ComicTo get a sense of what the real world of espionage is like, imagine the James Bond Theme performed by a junior high school marching band.
- (a.k.a. John Alejandro King)
Covert ComicSecret 95916201. For 90% of the world, the most effective form of sabotage is nonintervention.
- (a.k.a. John Alejandro King)
Dan Quayle
(1947 - )
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
Dennis MillerNever ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
It is commonly a weak man who marries for love.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
I believe marriages would in general be as happy, and often more so, if they were all made by the Lord Chancellor, upon a due consideration of characters and circumstances, without the parties having any choice in the matter.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
The triumph of hope over experience.
Duane Gibson
(1934 - )
Turning 70 is one of those telling times. When people tell you what to do, tell them to go to hell!
E. M. ForsterI would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.
Edward Abbey
(1927 - 1989)
Married couples who quarrel bitterly every day may really need each other as deeply as those who appear to be desperately in love.
Eric Smith
(1961 - )
Are you kidding me? I'm not stupid!.....anymore.
Eve BabitzBy the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
G. C. LichtenbergPerhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 - 1950)
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
George Bernard ShawMarriage is popular because ir combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
George Burns
(1896 - 1996)
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GodLoved the wedding -- now invite me to the marriage.
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho MarxA man is as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.
H. H. Munro
(1870 - 1916)
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
H. L. Mencken
(1880 - 1956)
The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties hi is at the maximum of his villainy.
H. L. MenckenHe marries best who puts it off until it is too late.
Heinrich HeineThe Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.
Helen Rowland
(1876 - 1950)
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Helen RowlandMarriage: a souvenir of love.
Henry Ford
(1863 - 1947)
It is not the employer who pays wages -- he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages.
Herbert Henry AsquithYouth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Honore' de Balzac
(1799 - 1850)
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
Horace SmithCourage is the fear of being thought a coward.
Horace WalpoleThe only lasting peace between a man and his wife is, doubtless, seperation.
Irvin Shrewsbury CobbMiddle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
Jack Benny
(1894 - 1974)
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jean Rostand
(1894 - 1977)
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
Joan RiversTrust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joey Adams
(1911 - 1999)
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
Johann kaspar LavaterHow many women would laugh at the funeral of their husbands if it were not the custom to weep?
John Alejandro King
(~1967 - )
Can I not pay attention and just be outraged all the time?
- (notorious CIA research manager (www.covertcomic.com))
John Alejandro KingThe key to effective anger management is learning to avoid doing things that piss me off in the first place.
- (noted CIA officer and motivational 'speaker' )
John Alejandro KingWhere's the outrage? 'Cause that's where I wanna be!
- (legendary CIA officer)
John Alejandro KingWe say nature abhors a vacuum, then wonder at some of the guys a woman is willing to marry.
- (noted CIA author, poet and covert activist)
John Alejandro KingBefore you marry a woman, have lunch with her ex-wife.
- (noted CIA author, poet and covert activist)
John Alejandro KingAny time management seminar that lasts longer than 15 minutes isn't worthy of the name.
- (noted CIA officer, poet and covert activist)
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
A celebrated feminist famously refused to call herself a housewife because she said she hadn't married a house. By that logic, I'm definitely a walkinclosethusband.
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
Even if the medium isn't the message, you still need that medium to transmit the message to everybody who uses that medium that it isn't.
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
Secret 94.6. Early to bed, early to rise, makes for ineffectual spies.
- (a.k.a. 'The Covert Comic,' noted CIA officer)
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
According to news reports, a woman attending an anger management course stabbed a fellow student. However, the reporting left unanswered the crucial question of whether the woman was angry at the time.
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
Sometimes I think our dog understands me better than my wife does. But then I remember that my wife understands our cat better than I do, so I guess it more or less evens out.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic' @ www.covertcomic.com)
(~1958 - )
Show me a superhero, and I'll write you a supertragedy.
John Alejandro King a.k.a The Covert ComicWhat does the word 'courage' mean to me? I'll tell you what it means to me (but only if you promise not to get angry).
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1966 - )
I would never recruit an intelligence agent who was willing to have me for a case officer.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1966 - )
I would never recruit an intelligence asset who was willing to have me for a case officer.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Secret #66. The best thing to come out of the US State Department is the Roosevelt Bridge.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention. ... Then again, if you're not paying attention, what makes people think you're going to notice their stupid bumper sticker in the first place?
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
If you can lose your head when all about you are keeping theirs, chances are I work for you.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicDo as I CIA, not as I DO.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicA tiger can't eat you if you hide in a lion's stomach.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Gentlemen do not read each other's mail. They write it.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. the Covert ComicSecret 704032. A major problem with sleeper agents is that they tend to suffer from sleep apnea.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Let sleeper agents lie.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. the Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
A surprisingly large percentage of sleeper agents are clinically comatose.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicThe medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicIn cyber espionage, the cloak and the dagger are one and the same.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSecret 003126. In espionage, useful intelligence tends to come in dribbles. And that's a polite way of putting it.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicThe expert crowd is adept at blending into a spy.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicNever put off until tomorrow what you can schedule a series of monthly meetings to evolve a framework for a plan to address next year today.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSuccess in middle management is about stampeding by example.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicWhen I see pictures of animals staring through cage bars, I always imagine they're sad because they can't let me out.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSecret 210222. Some ops officers run agents but most prefer trotting them.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicShow me a man who's willing to fight when he has no hope of victory. Because I want to fight that man.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSaying age is only a number is like saying a Seal 2K combat knife is only an edged instrument.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicChange management consultants will always have a slide in their decks containing the phrase 'But we've always done it this way.'
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicLiving in a dark age isn't so bad if you have night vision goggles.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicCyber sabotage n. The subverting of an adversary by providing them with a functioning computer network.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicIf we hire a change management consultant, do we have to supply the diapers?
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicIf you loot first, you don't need to rape or pillage.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicMy wife and I have an understanding: No.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicMy wife says I'm great in bed I don't snore or hog the blankets.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicInteragency cooperation is a two-way street. You drive on your agency's side of the street, I'll drive on mine.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicWho spies on my ally / Is likewise my ally
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic'Confusion agent' is a redundancy.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicI know why the caged monkey throws feces.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicThe statement 'He does nothing for political reasons' implies no political agenda, or a very wise one.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicI had a hidden agenda, but I forgot where I hid it.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSecret 800.F. Always make sure your throwaway agents are biodegradable.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicYou push 40. 50 drags you down the street.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicEach of us is our own agent provocateur.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic, noted CIA officerIn real life, espionage and sex have so little to do with one another that for all practical purposes they could be married.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic, noted CIA officerMotivational Quote of the Day: It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. Vince Lombardi ... Motivational Quote of the Night: It's not whether you get down, it's whether you get knocked up. The Covert Comic
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic, noted CIA officerA triple agent is more dangerous than a double agent, a double agent is more dangerous than an agent, and so on.
John Alejandro King, a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1968 - )
The difference between a Top Secret document, and a document designated 'For Official Use Only,' is that the latter can be used as a doorstop in any US Government facility, while the former may only serve this function inside a secure US Government vault.
- ('America's funniest covert intelligence officer!')
Joseph HellerI couldn't see tying myself down to a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own.
Joseph Wood KrutchBoth the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.
Kim HubbardBoys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Laurence J. PeterTwo can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs.
Lily Lumiere
(1910 - )
Youth is wasted on the young.
- (R.S.V.P. This quote did not originate with Mlle. Lumiere, our curmudgeonly contributor tells us, its author's identity having been lost in the irascible [and faintly plagiaristic] Lily's remarkable antiquity...)
Lord ByronAll tragedies are finished by death; all comedies are ended by marriage.
Lucille BallThe secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucius Annaeus SenecaAs was his language so was his life.
Mae West
(1892 - 1980)
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
Mae West
(1892 - 1980)
You're never too old to become younger.
Marie CorelliI never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home that serve the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
Mark Twain
(1835 - 1910)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
Mark TwainAge is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Maurice ChevalierOld age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Mohammad AliMy toughest fight was with my first wife.
MontaigneA good marriage would be between a deaf husband and a blind wife.
Nick FaldoWe were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
Ogden Nash
(1902 - 1971)
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Oscar LevantMairrage is a triumph of habit over hate.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 - 1900)
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything
Oscar Wilde
(1854 - 1900)
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Paul TillichThe courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.
Peter UstinovIf the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.
R. F. Martin
(1945 - Not yet!)
It seems like the 'GOLD' in the golden years became extremely tarnished and unrecognizable long before I arrived.
- (Let's all give the 'GY' a good old Bronx Cheer!)
Ralph W. Sockman
(1889 - 1970)
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority; the test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
- (US religious leader)
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(1803 - 1882)
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
Ray BandyHoneymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
Robert Benchley
(1889 - 1945)
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
(1889 - 1945)
As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert FrostTime and tide wait for no man- but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
Russell Baker
(1925 - )
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1882 - 1974)
If you want to send a message, use Western Union.
Samuel Taylor ColeridgeThe most happy marriage I can picture . . . would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Solomon ShortTo be better than average, you only have to be better than half.
Stephen L. Millich
(1941 - )
I am at that age where I am relieved when an ambulance passes by without stopping.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
When I turned 65 I came to the terrible realization that my life was almost half over.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone trying a third should not be allowed to escape through death.
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
If a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, anyone involved in a third should not be allowed to escape through death.
Steven WrightHalf the people you know are below average.
Steven WrightThe sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
The Covert Comic
(1958 - )
If the Information Age is over, why are you telling me?
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
The environment evolves to match the camouflage.
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Definition: Conference room camouflage. Asking questions, writing down notes, proposing action items.
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Infiltration is the sincerest form of flattery.
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Better wed a bed wetter than a wet bettor.
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
The camouflage you admire doesn't deserve it.
The Firesign TheatreHello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute.
Tom StoppardWe are tied down to a language which makes up in obscurity what it lacks in style.
Walt HaskinsTo many, the marriage vows are only a series of trick questions to be answer later, maybe.
- (Author of Comments USA)
Walt HaskinsWomen who mar for money are just hookers with higher prices and more patience.
- (Author- Comments USA)
Walt HaskinsWomen who marry for money are merely hookers with higher prices and more patience
- (Author of )
Willa CatherThe dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
Wilson MiznerThe days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
Winston Churchill
(1874 - 1965)
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
Zsa Zsa GaborI know what to do, but I'm not sure how to make it interesting.
Zsa Zsa GaborGetting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
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