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Quotes about Children

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Anatole BroyardThere was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.
AnonymousIt is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for.
- (epitaph on a child’s gravestone)
AnonymousDear God, did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it just an accident?
- (child's letter to God)
AnonymousMy house is childproof ... but they still get in.
Antoine de Saint-ExuperyGrown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
Bill Cosby
(1937 - )
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Brian AldissWhen childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them. They show us the state of our decay.
Christopher Morley
(1890 - 1957)
By the time the youngest children have learned to keep the house tidy, the oldest grandchildren are on hand to tear it to pieces.
Cleveland AmoryThere are three terrible ages of childhood -- 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.
Dick Cavett
(1936 - )
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Doris DayWrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 - 1967)
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.
Edgar Allan Poe
(1809 - 1849)
Children are never too tender to be whipped. Like tough beefsteaks, the more you beat them, the more tender they become.
Evelyn Waugh
(1903 - 1966)
My children weary me. I can only see them as defective adults; feckless, destructive, frivolous sensual, humorless.
Evelyn Waugh
(1903 - 1966)
Of children as of procreation -- the pleasure momentray, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable.
Fran LebowitzChildren make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
George F. WillWe are given children to test us and make us more spiritual.
Groucho MarxI married your mother because I wanted children. You can imagine my disappointment when you arrived.
Gustave FaubertA son of my own! Oh, no, no, no! Let my flesh perish with me, and let not me transmit to anyone the boredom and the ignominiousness of life.
H. L. Mencken
(1880 - 1956)
At eight or nine, I suppose, intelligence is no more that a small spot of light on the floor of a large and murky room.
Harry S. Truman
(1884 - 1972)
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
Henry David ThoreauChildren, who play life, discern its true law and relations more clearly than men, who fail to live it worthily, but who think that they are wiser by experience, that is, by failure.
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
I believe the children are the future. Now if I can just figure out a way to prove it.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1966 - )
My wife is thinking about having another baby. As for me, I've got a few questions. For example, how many children do we have now?
John Alejandro King, noted CIA research manager
(~1958 - )
They say you should never raise your hand to your children, but how else am I supposed to request their permission to speak?
John F. Kennedy
(1917 - 1963)
Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.
John J. PlompYou know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.
John Ruskin
(1819 - 1900)
Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back.
- (author, poet, artist)
Kin HubbardThere is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
King Edward VIIIThe thing that impresses me the most about America is they way parents obey their children.
Kingsley AmisIt is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as children.
Lewis B. FrumkesHow to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
Logan Pearsall Smith
(1865 - 1946)
What is more enchanting than the voices of young people when you can't hear what they say?
Mark Twain
(1835 - 1910)
Familiarity breeds contempt--and children.
Mell LazarusThe secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
Nancy MitfordI love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy MitfordI love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
P. J. O'RourkeHumans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Phyllis DillerAlways be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(1803 - 1882)
A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(1803 - 1882)
Children are all foreigners.
Robert BlochI have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
Robert Byrne
(1917 - )
Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.
Robert OrbenNever raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
Roy Blount Jr.Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th.
Sam Levenson
(1911 - 1980)
Insanity is hereditary, you get it from you children.
Solomon ShortAll children have good hearts, until someone beats it out of them.
Thomas SzaszA child becomes an adult when he realizes that he has a right not only to be right but also to be wrong.
W. C. Fields
(1890 - 1946)
Go back to reform school, you little nose-picker.
W. C. Fields
(1890 - 1946)
I like children if they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
(1890 - 1946)
Children should neither be seen nor heard from -- ever again.
Winston ChurchillGrandson: "Grandpapa, is it true that you are the greatest man in the world?" Churchill: "Yes. Now bugger off."
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