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Quotes about Death

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AnonymousIt is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for.
- (epitaph on a child’s gravestone)
Benjamin Franklin
(1706 - 1790)
In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
Captain Lawrence OatesI am just going outside and may be some time.
Cato the Elder
(234 - 149 B.C.)
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Chris RapierI hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.
Dan FieldingOh, come on. If you can't laugh at the walking dead, who can you laugh at?
Dave BarryWhat I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
A very ignorant young fellow, who had plagued us all for nine or ten months, died at last consumptive: ""I think (said Mr. Johnson when he heard the news), I am afraid, I should have been more concerned for the death of the dog; but -------- (hesitating a while) I am not wrong now in all this, for the dog acted up to his character on every occasion that we know; but that dunce of a fellow helped forward the general disgrace of humanity.
Dr. Samuel Johnson
(1707 - 1784)
Depend upon it, Sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.
Edward Abbey
(1927 - 1989)
Death is every man's final critic. To die well you must live bravely.
Francis Bacon
(1561 - 1626)
Death is a friend of ours; and he that is not ready to entertain him is not at home.
- (essayist, philosopher, and statesman)
George SaundersGood-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
GraffitiIs there life before death?
Groucho Marx
(1890 - 1977)
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Heinrich Heine
(1797 - 1856)
Sleep is lovely, death is better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.
Isaac Asimov
(1920 - 1992)
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - ?)
I told you I wasn't sick.
- (suggested epitaph (from 'Who Killed The Covert Comic?' -
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
If it's so damned all-loving, why doesn't the Light get off its lazy ass and come down the tunnel to see *us*?!
- (noted CIA research manager)
John Alejandro King
(~1958 - )
Whenever I hear someone say: 'He died doing what he loved,' I always think: "He loved dying?"
John Alejandro KingIt isn't that you can't cheat death, it's that death can't cheat you.
John Alejandro KingThe death of democracy likely won't result from conspiracy or war, but from some sexually transmitted disease democracy catches while sleeping around.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. 'The Covert Comic'
(~1958 - )
When I had my near death experience, the Light showed me ways in which my life might have turned out differently. For example, instead of being a software programmer-analyst, the Light showed me how, by living, choosing, and loving in other ways, I could have been a software analyst-programmer.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicSecret 45810161. We're all on our deathbed, but some of us are jumping up and down on the mattress.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. the Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Death is not the end. Death is the middle linebacker.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Sooner or later, most of us die from complications of being ourselves.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert comicFlightless birds, too, fall to earth.
John Alejandro King a.k.a. The Covert ComicThey say death ends a life, not a relationship. But usually the relationship is at least partly responsible.
John Barrymore
(1882 - 1942)
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
Johnny Carson
(1925 - )
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Joseph StalinA single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Nancy ReaganI believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 - 1900)
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
Pancho VillaDon't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
- (His last words.)
Peter StoneSo you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not, be the next victim?' 'Well, that would be a start.
PlatoThe hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways - I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows.
Ronnie ShakesMy doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1882 - 1974)
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
Spike Milligan
(1918 - 2002)
I told you I was ill
Spike MilliganI told you I was ill.
- (His epitaph)
Stephen Millich
(1941 - )
If you live long enough something will kill you
The Covert Comic
(~1958 - )
Death before dishonor. One thing at a time.
The Covert ComicMaybe the Light is a great cosmic bug zapper, and we're all insects.
Tom LehrerIt is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.
UnknownI want to be burried upside down; so that the world can kiss my ass.
W. Somerset Maugham
(1874 - 1965)
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Wilson MiznerThose who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Winston Churchill
(1874 - 1965)
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
(1756 - 1791)
Death, when we come to consider it closely, is the true goal of our existence.
Woody Allen
(1935 - )
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
(1935 - )
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens
Woody Allen
(1935 - )
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody Allen
(1935 - )
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
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